My Freudian Slip

By Romana Annette  03/14/2011

Sigmund Freud would not have liked me,

I would have sounded wholly impossible,

Akin to Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein monster,

A creepy transwoman coming out of a fog bank.

I am not the product of some deranged scientist,

Nature just loves to create new ideas,

So I got the luck of the great cosmic draw,

As if Caesar, on the sidelines…The Die is Cast.

I dress as a woman, so I do wear slips,

They are certainly not Freudian, not even interesting,

They are designed to reduce drag walking in a skirt,

Hence the origin of RuPaul and his line of work.

I can only watch RuPaul’s show a few minutes at a time,

It is too much for me, I can’t even qualify for RuPaul,

I am a heterosexual transwoman fitting her identity,

No show business, glitz, excitement, or glamour here.

I wear a slip for the original reason…to prevent drag,

It has worked fabulously, I can’t be a Drag Queen,

I only do this with my skirts, not my dresses,

Sort of per my wife’s original instructions.

My wife wanted me to wear dresses all the time,

They tend to fit me much better than separates,

But I still wear separate skirts, requisite with slips,

Because I cherish the pockets I mostly gave up.

I cannot wear any separate slip with any of my dresses,

I will simply enter over-heat mode and burn up,

It’s like the hell into which my detractors want to fling me,

So I have cleverly given them the Freudian slip.

I do have fancy dresses that are lined, with built-in slips,

Ladies at my coming high school reunion beware,

Still, back zippers can be a real challenge,

In which case I turn to Houdini, not Freud.